Thus saith the LORD, about this time tomorrow...

2Kings 6:25 And there was a great famine in Samaria: and, behold, they besieged it, until an ass's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver, and the fourth part of a cab of dove's dung for five pieces of silver.

2Kings 7:1 Then Elisha said, Hear ye the word of the LORD; Thus saith the LORD, To morrow about this time shall a measure of fine flour be sold for a shekel, and two measures of barley for a shekel, in the gate of Samaria.

Alright, so I'm not going to even try to repeat the message that I heard today in which God spoke to me, but I will share some of what I got out of the scriptures that were read from and the things that God personally said to me.

First off, the first verse tells us there was a famine in the land. In church today, the visiting Pastor broke this scripture down and talked about what a famine actually is, but my focus isn't so much on that first verse because I know that I've been in a famine. I've been in the desert, in a desolate lonely place for quite some time now. I've felt alone like no one could hear my pleas for help. I've felt like I was just wondering in endless circles.

But God has been with me, of course, yet my eyes have been blocked by the infirmities that this tumor has brought my way to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I've believed in the light, but sometimes my faith has wavered. Sometimes, as the pain overtook my body, it was hard to believe in anything other than the truth of my infliction.

Oh but that second verse...

Thus saith the Lord, tomorrow about this time... the famine will be over. Maybe it's just me, but the hope in that has rejuvenated me and wiped my weary eyes so that I can once again see the light at the end of the tunnel!! Friday night I prayed for God to wrap me in His strength so that I could go on, and today, He did that and even more. He wrapped His strong arms around me and kissed my cheek and whispered His love for me. At first I thought He must have me confused with someone else. Why would the God of Abraham, the Creator, the King of Kings love me? But then I remembered that God doesn't make mistakes. And so for whatever reason, He loves me.

This will end. Thus saith the Lord, about this time tomorrow... This pain will not last forever. The dizziness won't last forever. And while I'm enduring this trial, I have been drawn ever closer to my Father. I can honestly with my whole heart declare that He is my everything. I can honestly say that I love Him more than anything. I can say with complete sincerity that He is my I Am.

On the way home from church, my husband and I were talking about how my relationship with God has definitely changed in the last 17+ months, and so has his. So see, I always said that "this" was not just about me, and I don't believe it is. If my husband has been drawn closer to God because of my trials, then I am humbled and grateful. And I'm not at all proclaiming to be worthy of anything because I am not, but I don't believe that it will stop there. I believe that God will take what looks like such a hopeless situation, what seems unbearable at times, and use it to shine His glory on the lives of others. And that makes all this worth it!

I don't know why He picked me, but I am so incredibly honored! I told Martin on the way home today that sometimes I think He must have me mistaken for someone else. I mean, me??? Ugh! I wouldn't even pick me! I have ALWAYS been the last kid picked. But even if I haven't always believed in myself, God looked at me with a smile and saw something that no one else could. The headaches still hurt. My desk is still littered with thousands of dollars worth of medical bills. But He never promised that this would be easy. In fact, He said to pick up our crosses to follow him. That doesn't sound very easy to me.

But oh that light at the end of the tunnel... I haven't gotten there yet, but the glimpse that I've gotten is the most beautiful thing that my eyes have ever landed on.

God, I trust in you with my whole heart. Thank you for listening to my breaking heart. Thanks for seeing my brokenness. I feel like just a pile of rubble now, but I can feel Your hands sifting through and picking up the broken pieces of my heart and soul to put them together again. You are so worthy, Lord! I don't matter for a minute, and yet still You'd take the time to listen to me and to heal my hurting soul. And You chose to do this because You are my Father and I am Your child and Your love for me is beyond my understanding. So thank you. Thank you.