Saturday, May 10, 2014


Do you believe that every action has a reaction? Do you believe every choice, every decision, has a consequence? I do... I do... And that is the mere sum of life - reactions and consequences.  The funny thing is, we aren't just affected by our own actions. Like a ripple in a lake, we are touched by the choices of others.

The home I live in and the car I drive, the job that I have and the clothes I wear, the church I attend and the hobbies I have, the values that I hold dear and the family that I'm blessed with - these things are all the results of the path that I have walked and the ripples caused by others.

Remembering this simple little concept, and applying it, would greatly sway decisions made in our lives.  It is one thing to think that my choice will affect me, but it is quite another to know that my choices will affect those I love, or just like, or barely even know.

Another consideration is that the ripples that we cause are immeasurable. There are ripples that are really more like tidal waves, knocking people off of their feet and drastically changing the landscape of lives forever. Forever. And some ripples are like the waves at the beach, crashing and throwing one into another causing people to topple on top of one another. But then there are those ripples that seem to only disturb their immediate environment, but after closer inspection teeny tiny disturbances cannot be seen but can be felt.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New year, new me?!?

It's January 1st, and my only New Year's Resolution is to FEEL BETTER this year! I'd like to stay out of the hospital, off the couch, out of the dark, and away from calling in sick at work.
Saturday, my Pastor's wife took me to an all natural place to have my energy's read. I don't know anything about this kind of thing, and it totally goes against all my medical knowledge as an RN, but I'm desperate enough to give anything a try. This is why I found myself holding brass bars in each hand for nearly two hours while this strange machine hooked to a computer screen read my body. While there were some accuracies in the reading (insomnia, night sweats, stomach upset), there were many inaccuracies as well (joint pain, heart fluctuations). I felt almost like I was getting my fortune read. You know how sometimes people tell you a wide variety of things that could almost be true for anyone... Well, that's sort of how I felt.
Afterwards, they told me all sorts of vitamins and supplements that I needed to start taking. One of which is 5-HTP. Anyone ever heard of it? Apparently I'm meant to be taking 4 capsules of this stuff a day to prevent headaches and help improve my mood, but after just taking 2 capsules a day, I couldn't stomach it!
They also told me how I needed to radically change my diet, avoiding all forms of sugar and starches (my favorites). I did some light looking at this diet, but I just can't see myself or my family following such a drastic diet... Much less affording it!
I got to thinking... And I do believe I felt the best when I was the healthiest. A couple years ago, I was following Weight Watchers pretty strictly. Within a year, I lost 40 pounds and I kept it off for a while, but sadly I've gained it all back. I do believe that there is truth in the foods we eat and the way we feel, so, Saturday I'm going to my first Weight Watchers meeting in years. If that helps me some, I'd like to start running again with my husband.
We shall see.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

3 days of goodness!

It's the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I've felt pretty "okay" through this holiday!! HOORAY! Thanksgiving was wonderful AND busy. We ate lunch at my mom's, dinner at my in-law's, and then we spent the evening at a downtown tree lighting about 45 minutes away. I was a little nervous about how such a busy day would make me feel the next morning. Sometimes, actually ALWAYS, my headaches are like a bad hangover. If I have any 'fun', then I end up paying for it the next day.
But Friday, I awoke with only a mild headache - probably like a 2-3. So, to celebrate, I spent the day out Black Friday shopping with my husband. And I do mean we spent the ENTIRE day out shopping. I was beat when I came home, but happily so. Feeling somewhat 'normal' two days in a row, and getting to partake in 'normal' FUN things is my dream come true.
I should clean my house and/or do some laundry, but all I can think of is what other fun I can cram into today with my family while I can. Who knows when I'll be laid up on the couch again. Just thankful that I'm not laid up today!

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Day 4 of this headache

Today's Sunday and, of course, all my weekend has been stolen by this headache. It started Thursday night... Friday I took some meds in hopes that I could make it through work, but by lunch time I was about to fall out of my chair so I came home. I hate having headaches.
I've become a recluse. Friends that I used to have, are more like strangers. Places that I used to frequent are distant memories. I live on my couch. Surrounded by my walls. In the dark. And cold.
I try to keep positive. I really do. But it's just so much easier to be discouraged.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

New Changes

So guess who FINALLY called me Friday... My neurology office! My lab work all was fine, although my ammonia level was at the high end of normal. (A side effect with the Depakote is elevated ammonia.) But since the headaches were no better, and I was having such a hard time with nausea and vomiting, my doctor decided to take me off the of Depakote completely and replace it with Verapamil.
Now, I was a little surprised. Verapamil is a calcium channel blocker that is most commonly used to lower blood pressure. I don't have high blood pressure! But after I hung up with my doc, I did a little bit of research and learned that Verapamil has shown to be effective in the prevention of migraines. Here's the catch, I have to take it twice every day... and I already have low blood pressure.  Like, really low... Like 100's/60's... Hope the new addition doesn't bottom me out!
On a different note, I was looking up stuff on migraine triggers and foods and stuff. One trigger caught me by surprise. Stress letdown, like after a busy work week or a presentation, often triggers migraines. Funny because I'm out for the count nearly every weekend. And here I just thought it was all in my head. Ugh
Oh well, let's see if med change # 5,864,782 will be the one!

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Think I'm gonna spew.

Ugh. I feel so nauseous. Not sure which I hate worse: debilitating headache or constant nausea.