Saturday, April 18, 2009

I don't know how to express my thoughts, but I'm not at a loss for words! LOL

Staying up late just because I want too... because I'm enthralled in a book or because I'm covered in paint and glue or because I'm writing a love letter to the One that I love the most...

Showering in the morning and feeling the warm spray on my skin... lifting my head up towards the ceiling and allowing my eyes to rest upon the ceiling above while I lift both of my hands high to my head to rinse the shampoo that I've been able to lather there...

Being able to complete a thought without my mind feeling foggy and desperately grasping at words right as they erase right beyond my reach... And having the confidence to once again make friends and speak to those that already love me...

Listening to the cheerful laughs and yells of my children playing as their youthful voices pierce the heavens and never once clentching my head in pain...

Racing my dog around the yard and then joyfully falling on the ground laughing and rubbing her head with glee as the crazy girl barks in my ear and licks my face...

Skipping to answer the high-pitches of the ringing phone and smiling ear to ear when I hear the warm voice on the other end asking me how I am... And truthfully responding...

Curling up beside my husband and hearing his voice saying my name as we have a conversation because I'm not too exhausted or in too much pain...

Making it two full weeks with the only tears that stream down my face being those of complete and utter joy and not curling up in complete and utter pain and dispair...

Hearing my prayers that are now full of such gratefullness and wonder of my God instead of sorrowful wimpers asking Him why He spared my life if each and every day would be sheer misery...

Waking up each and every morning feeling the way that I always knew was possible, but have only actually felt for the past 2 weeks now...

Having my God prove to me that His word is not a lie and everything that I've always thought about Him is absolutely right... He IS my healer... He IS my provider... He IS my EVERYTHING!!!

Having the physical therapist ask me to repeat excercises because she's in disbelief of what I am able to do instead of me struggling and panting for breath unable to finish each task...

Walking across a clean bedroom floor because I have the energy to clean my house or excercising in the gym more intensly than I have in my entire life because I am now able...

Looking forward to another birthday to celebrate life and all it's wonders...

And each day praising God over the seemingly simple things that I have missed for 17 loooong months....

Once again enjoying to listen as my daughter talks my ear off about her friends and her favorite games and boys that she thinks are cute... Actually enjoying myself at her soccer practices because I'm not doped up on pain medication to half-way function or because the bright rays of the sun split into my head....

Once again playing with little toy cars in my sons' room making "Vroom-vroom" sounds or watching the same movie with him over and over again enjoying the scent of his hair as he snuggles in my lap...

Having my husband turn to me and say, "Babe, I don't want to be rude, but I would really love to go home and spend some time with you..." Because it's been sooooo long.... So long since we've actually talked about anything other than "it" or "it's" consequences...

Such simple things I took for granted until I couldn't do them, and now... Well, now, each time that I can lean over the sink and brush my teeth without leaning onto the counter because of dizzyness; every time that I can listen to the music in the car turned up loud; each and every night that I sleep with no interruptions; each morning that I arise without the dred of facing another day... Every tear that warms my cheek NOT because of pain but because of sheer JOY - I just can't thank Him enough!!

God did what I always knew He could do. He healed my body. But He did so much more than that! My Shepard provides my every need... He led me beside still waters... He restored my soul... I have walked through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, and He held my way the whole way through it. He is my Comfort! He has annointed my head... My cup runneth over! Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I DO dwell with Him forever and ever and ever.

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