Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Well, God, it's storming again... and, again, I will lift my hands...

Graduation is 61 days away... It's so close I can taste it. However, hurdle #9,542,673,201 is attempting to slow me down. *sigh* Gotta love road blocks!

For about a month now, my knee has been hurting me. I've tried ice, an ace bandage, I prop it up, and I pop Ibuprofen, but nothing helps. The funny thing is that I haven't injured myself (meaning, no falls or bumps) and my leg isn't swollen or red or warm to the touch. It just hurts like crazy. It hurts so bad it wakes me out of my sleep. If my husband rolls over and bumps it, I wake up howling. Not real good.

So, with me kicking and screaming, I went to an orthopedic doctor yesterday. After X-rays, he told me that it was 1 of 2 things. Either it's a meniscus tear, in which I would need surgery to correct the problem, but I would be mobile again in a couple weeks. Or a stress fracture, in which the ONLY way to heal is to be COMPLETELY off my leg for 6-8 weeks. We scheduled an MRI for next week to tell us for sure. My jaw just dropped at the news.

I have 8 weeks of school left and I have battled through nursing school through the residual side effects of a brain tumor and medication changes for it; I've been diagnosed with IBS while in school and dealt with that; then of course there's been the chronic vascular headaches and the pain meds for that; then the diagnoses of the cluster headaches (as if the others weren't bad enough); and then not to mention a lovely little kidney stone last fall that was too big to blast and required surgery (a result from the headache meds). But now I'm being told that a result of my losing weight by the exercise has caused me to hurt myself and possible jeopardize my working clinical's... that I only have to do for the next 7 weeks! I mean, REALLY?

It would be VERY easy to be completely discouraged right now. It would be so easy to get upset and work myself up. But there are a couple of things that life, and all the things that God's allowed me to go thru, have taught me:
1. The night TRULY is the darkest just before the dawn.
2. Becoming a nurse has NOT come to me easy. I have had obstacles thrown my way left and right, and in the beginning I heard God's voice directing my path, but I'll be honest. The past several months, I've just been walking my faith and NOT by sight. I haven't seen any pillars of fire, and I haven't heard Him beckoning to me. BUT I made a choice a long time ago to trust Him with my WHOLE heart and not to lean unto my own understanding. With my entire heart, I believe that climbing this mountain hasn't been easy because the view from the top will be amazing. I believe that God is honoring my trust in Him.
3. Everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, happens for a reason.

I found this scripture today and it offered me a lot of encouragement. It's Isaiah 40:28-31 "Have you not known? Have you not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, faints not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He gives power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increases their strength... But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint."

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

:-D <--- This is me, cheesing.

It's been 3 weeks since I've been (drumroll please) PAIN MEDICINE FREE!!!! As a bonus, when I weighed in at Weight Watchers this weekend, I more than exceeded my 25 weight loss goal.

Nearly 3 weeks without pain meds! Of course I still take Cymbalta (for chronic pain - who knew!) daily and Topamax twice a day. BUT did I mention, NO PAIN MEDS for 3 weeks now? LOL

Still no running again, school's kept me pretty busy. In fact, I had a final today and I have another. However, graduation in set for July 28. HOORAY!

So thank you, Lord, for a pain free 3 weeks - without dumb ol' pain meds! :-D OH! And the weight loss is great too! Thanks for that, because it hasn't been easy. :-D