As the rain steadily falls on the ground outside, I can't help but allow my gaze to wonder out the window and daydream about Him... The One whose love is as steady as this rain...
I've not always been in love with Him... Didn't even know it was really possible and even if it was possible, I was too busy trying to "hide" from Him... Sometimes I think that if I don't make eye contact with people, then they can't see me. Dumb, I know, but if I'm having a bad hair day or something, I find my eyes resting most comfortably on the ground. Just like a baby playing hide or seek, I feel like by covering my own eyes and vision - I'm covering up everyone else's too. Such has been the case with my relationship with God.
I've always known that I'm undeserving of His love, and sometimes "church" or other people would be quick to remind me of how many faults did riddle through me. Flaky and a failure, I never thought that He could love me and I was horrified at the thought of Him seeing me... Maybe like Eve in the garden, when she hid behind the cover of leaves...
But how delighted and awed I am that no matter how undeserving I may be, I am HIS and He loves me! I have been dirty and untouchable like Mary Magdalene; disobedient like Jonah; irrational and short on patience like Moses; blinded by doubt like Peter; maker of some pretty bad choices like Saul (aka Paul); simple and poor like Joseph; a strange misfit like Ezekiel; lonesome like Noah, BUT thankfully that doesn't make His love for me any less! In fact, knowing that I am undeserving and unworthy just reminds me of how incredibly wonderful He is!!!
Sometimes I've welcomed in a pity-party and sadly pointed out all my faults... I've blown up all my shortcomings so big that I've lost sight... I AM a failure! I AM sin-riddled, but I don't have to be guilt-ridden because He is above any fault and shortcoming that may be in me! His requirements aren't that I earn His love... They aren't that I be good enough to lie at His feet... He's better than that! He's so amazing that He is STILL God no matter who or what I am! AND HE LOVES ME! Certainly He wants the best for me, but His greatness and mercy isn't contingent on me at all!
So I gaze out the window and there is a slight smile on my lips as I think about Him... As I think about His unfailing love... As I rejoice in the fact that He will NEVER leave me and He will NEVER forsake me! I am His, and He loves me! Maybe He shouldn't. I mean, lots of people haven't or don't, but God isn't like anyone we know... He is GOD! His standards aren't even close to those of men!!! It's so hard to comprehend sometimes... Sometimes it would make more sense if I could neatly file Him into categories that I've learned from people, but He's just too grand to fit in any of them. (-; And man am I glad...
My Knight in Shining Armor... My Prince of Peace... My Savior... My Counselor... My Comfort... My HEALER... My Restoration... My Lord and My God... Oh!!! How I love You!!!
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