“Let not your heart be troubled” (John 14:1): these words keep running through my mind over and over like a broken record, and yet my heart is troubled. )-:
Isaiah 41:10 “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
What a perfect scripture for me! I do feel afraid! I do feel dismayed. I feel really weak and it’s funny cause I’m scared I might slip. Yet He tells me that it’s okay. He’ll hold me up… He tells me not to be afraid… Because He is God! He is MY God!! And He will never leave my side.
Strange how I felt more at peace when I had that crazy brain tumor then I do now. That was a situation of life and death, but this isn’t. No one is dying! It’s going to all be okay, and yet my heart feels so broken …
And again I’m faced with faith. Real faith. Not just saying that I have faith, but it’s actually time for the rubber to hit the road.
Once again it’s time for me to live out Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct they paths.” That is a beautiful scripture to say, but living it is a little harder… Trusting in God, in a plan that I can’t see or touch – a plan that I have no control over, isn’t so easy… Leaning not unto what I can see or what I can comprehend is hard… In all my ways to acknowledge Him??? Guess that means I can’t camp out in bed with the covers pulled over my head and a tub of cookie dough my companion. (-: Because if I can keep on keeping on, if I can continue to trust my God and follow Him and acknowledge Him, then He WILL direct my path… See, everything will be okay. Even if it doesn’t feel like it now… Even if it doesn’t look like it now… It will! He’s promised that it would be okay. And I do trust Him… I don’t understand Him, but I trust Him. (-:
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