Tuesday, May 5, 2009

*sung horribly loud and off key* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

So today is a reason for me to celebrate and praise God for another year of life!! There was a time, not so long ago, that I was like Job (in the 3rd chapter). I didn't curse the day I was born, but I did curse surviving the surgery only to go through 17 long months of seriously hard recovery. In the latter months of the painful recovery, I would cry out to God and ask Him why He spared me to allow me to endure so much heartache. I felt like death on the operating table would have been better than barely living...

Ah, but God's vision isn't limited like mine! He knew that my pain was only temporary and that the hike up the mountain might be hard, and lonely, and exhausting, but once I reached the top the view would take my breath away. How right He was (isn't He always)!

Today is the 2nd birthday that I've been given since my brain surgery and it's amazing to look down at the long hike we've (God and I) climbed. Not only have I learned so much, changed so much, but I have seen blessing after blessing.

30 days have passed since God miraculously and graciously granted restoration to me. In those 30 days, I have been radically healed and pain-free; relationships that I thought were long gone have come back to life; and promises from long ago have come to my rememberance and are beginning to come true... My faith has also been restored because everything that I always believed that God is, He proved to me that He is.

And so today, on the most glorious day there is (j/k), I am lifting my hands and praising God for the hardest longest trial that I have ever endured. The climb was really hard... really painful... really discouraging... Sometimes, I felt all alone... Like Job, I looked everywhere and couldn't "find" God. But that was okay. He knew right where I was. Like the Casting Crowns song says, "You are who You are no matter where I am..."

And now the view is absolutely amazing and I am humbled that He said, "Have you considered my servant, Jessica?" He thought a lot more of me that I do/did. I would have NEVER thought that I'd make it through such a battle, but He had such a faith and confidence that we'd (Him and I) get through and I would be all the better for it!

God, I thank You more than words can say. I thank You for holding my hand when times were tough and for holding my hand and dancing with me now on this mountain top. I know trials will come my way again, because such is life, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that Your word is true! You will never leave me and never forsake me. Over and over Your Word tells me to fear not, because You are with me!!!

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