Of course there's prayer, and I've tried many different medicines (still on some), I've tried doctors - even changing doctors, I've been hospitalized, I've tried lumbar taps and drains, I've tried special diets, I've tried losing 40 pounds, I've tried massages, but now I'm trying exercise. I'm pretty hesitant because I not only don't feel well but I'm also afraid that it will be a trigger. But my husband is a marathon runner and has convinced me to join a team of run/walkers that is beginning to slowly train for a marathon/half marathon that will be in March 2014. Yesterday was my second 2 mile WALK with him. I must admit, although our brisk pace left me very out of breath and sweaty, I didn't die and my head was okay - no worse than when I started. We'll see.
Tomorrow I have my first appointment since I got out of the hospital with my new neurologist. Ho-hum. What a life! (; Speaking of, my mom saw my old neurologist earlier this week. The one that came in my hospital room this last time acting all nutty and yelling at me. He was singing a new tune and telling her to let me know that I could come back to him anytime... :/ Uhm...
In any event, school for my kids has just started and my 9th grader had to write an introductory paper in her drama class to present in front of the class. She read it to me and it just made my heart break. The theme of her paper was how she was a sensitive person and why she felt that she was that way. Because of me... Because she lived with a brain tumor surviving mom and a mom with chronic migraines that was in\out of the hospital. She didn't get detailed but mentioned learning how to sacrifice so her mom could get medicine or pay for medical treatment. When she read it to me, it took everything I could not to cry. I know all the things she's talking about. Last fall, she was supposed to get braces, but in September, the week we had booked a condo for the beach by the way, I was put in the hospital because my intracranial pressure was extremely high. Her braces money went to my head. And instead of her mom and dad taking her and her brother to the beach, she went with her grandma and a friend. Then this year her youth group was going on a big trip, but I was paying the expensive co-pay for medicines and ended up hospitalized again ruining her chance of getting to go.
This is how my children know me. Sickly. I HATE THAT! And when I feel well, I will do everything I can to make good memories with them to replace these bad ones. I will play silly games on the computer with my 8 yr old and I will talk boys with my 14 yr old. We'll spontaneously go to the beach and laugh to loud when I'm up to it.
There is one thing having a stupid illness has taught me and that's how to appreciate life!
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