This passage is almost always read at funerals. I read and re-read it several times while I was in the hospital. And yet last night, it spoke to me again...
PSALM 23
1 - "The Lord is my shepard; I shall not want." First off, the word "is" is in italics. To me that says that God is my shepard. Period. He guides me, which means that He knows where I am at all times. Even when I feel so confused and so alone - He knows. The second part of that scripture reminds me that I don't need anything. God is my provider. I don't have to want for anything.
2 - "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters." Wow. He maketh me... God is my creator, and He created me to have calm in my soul. He didn't make me to have turmoil in my heart... Hurt, fear, and blindness were never His intention for me! The second part of that scripture tells me that when I don't know which end is up - He's right there to calm my soul. He leadeth me... That means that I don't have to lead myself... I can't lead myself!! He'll take my hand and lead me to a place of rest, relaxation, and healing...
3 - "He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake." God is my healer!! He restores my soul!! He speaks to the brokenness in my heart and heals it. He doesn't condemn how lost I feel. He doesn't put guilt on me. Instead, He restores me! Again, the second part of verse 3 says that He leads me... I don't have to find righteousness on my own. He's right beside me, holding my hand, and leading me...
4 - "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." I'm crying again now... Verse 4 is so powerful to me because that is how I feel. I feel like I'm walking though the darkest and lonliest valley that I've ever walked through. Death literally consumes me. And yet, I'm not alone. God is with me! Again the word "art" is italicized and that means that God's not playing! He's right beside me!!!!!! I can find comfort in the Almighty... In fact, He tells me plain as day that He holds comfort.
5 - "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over." I can just invision myself surrounded by "my enemies"... Fear, doubt, hurt, this stupid brain tumor... And sitting down to dine with them all... I must not be afraid of them! They must no longer have a hold of me, which leads me to believe that they've been defeated! God anoints me?!?!?!? Again, I can't help but think He's not mad at me... He may not want me to feel like I do, but He knows me and He's with me and He wants me to feel better but He's not mad at me! I no longer have to duck my head in shame for being so lost! My cup runs over??? So God wants to BLESS ME? So here I am, feeling lower than I've probably ever felt and more alone that I've ever felt, and yet God wants to bless me? Not only does He want to take my pain away, but my cup runs over?!?!?!
6 - "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever." Mercy. Now that's what I need, and that's exactly what's been promised for me! I'll dwell in His presence FOR EVER?!?!?! That just reminds me that He'll never leave me and never forsake me. There are no conditions. No strings attached. Verse 6 doesn't say, "I'll dwell in the house of the Lord if I never battle fear. Never battle depression. Never have doubts." The scriptures above let me know that God knows where I'm at, and STILL I will dwell in His loving arms for ever. And ever. And ever.
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