"I am lost for more to say..."

Isaiah 6:3 And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.

Revelations 4:8 And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.

The angels surrounding the throne of God constantly cry “Holy, holy, holy” unto the Lord. Yesterday I was thinking about them (the angels) and thinking of how they know that He is great just by looking at Him. They’ve never actually experienced His holiness for themselves, but they look at Him and see His goodness radiating from Him...
And then I was thinking of how I’ve actually experienced His holiness first-hand. I remember where I used to be; the things I used to do, way I used to feel, and the darkness that threatened to drown me. So tainted and dirty, I could easily let shame from my past sweep over me. And yet He delivered me! Changed me! FORGOT all the horrible things back there!! ....
Isn’t He so good? I mean, it would’ve been incredible for Him to just change me, or deliver me, but to forgive and forget too??? That His eyes could even look on me with love when He shouldn’t even be able to look in my direction at all because He is so pure and I’m just not… I’m just awed… I am awed that I AM His daughter and that He is my Father… Awed that He believes in me enough to have made a way possible for me to get another chance… That He laid down His very life for me?!?!?!?!
Gateway Worship sings a song called, “Beautiful”. There’s a line in it that says, “I am lost for more to say…” That perfectly pegs how I feel. I’m not sure if I can even entirely wrap my head around how beautiful He is, and I definitely don’t even have words to describe the way I feel about Him and why I feel the way I do about Him… But I’m so incredibly grateful for the glimpse of Him that causes my eyes to well up with tears every time I think about Him and my heart to skip a beat when I think about Him.

Recently, a friend asked me how I was able to keep my faith in God after being through so much (already) in life. I didn’t really have any words to give, but as I think about it, how could I not??? Of course I have faith in Him!!! He’s so incredibly amazing… Maybe I have been sick… maybe I have looked death in the eyes… maybe some days are full of pain… maybe there are times when I don’t understand… But I don’t even deserve LIFE, much less to be able to clutch His hand through those times. Already, He’s done so much for me…
And when I am sick; or when I do have a stare-down with death; or when I am in pain; or when I don’t understand – I just hold His hand and He squeezes it to remind me that He will NEVER leave me and NEVER forsake me. I don’t know why! He should. If He was anything like me, He would’ve never even glanced twice in my direction. But thankfully, He’s nothing like me and even though it goes against my understanding, He loves me still.