Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Nothing Important

So I started back at school to sort of prove to myself and to others that I could do it. Well, it's not been nearly as easy as I thought it would be and I was getting pretty discouraged because my grades have BARELY been passing. Before (brain surgery) I made all "A"s pretty easily. Not this time. Anyway, last night we were handed back our most recent tests in my Anatomy & Physiology 2 class and I made my first "A" of the semester!!!!!!!!!! Just the encouragement that I needed. I can and will finish college because I refuse my dream of graduating to be stolen by this stupid brain tumor.

That being said, the last couple of weeks have been hard. I haven't felt well at all and it all began with a stomach virus that meant that I couldn't keep any of my "brain" meds in, which meant that I ended up with a headache so bad that I was seeing double. But today I feel like living again. Not great, but a whole lot better.

I have days where I just want to give up and say, "What's the use?" But then I get so angry at the things that have been "stolen" because of the tumor/surgery that something in me wants to fight. I want to show myself and this world that even though I might have suffered greatly - I can still achieve some of my dreams. Why not, right?

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