Is this weird?

This week there are 2 funeral's for people that I love. One is for a man that I have grown up with in church. Another is a dear friend's mother.

When I was first getting better, I couldn't sleep at night and I would stay up chatting with my friend Cliff. There were many nights that we'd talk about our funeral's. It just dawned on me that really, I'd talk and he'd listen. Cliff was such a good listener. I know that sounds really strange, but I guess since death looked us straight in the face, and eventually took over his, it didn't seem so strange.

Since he's passed, I haven't really even thought anything about it, but going to the first funeral for the man that I grew up with yesterday just jolted back those memories. And so I'm thinking of how I'd like it to be. Is that weird? Today I e-mailed an old pastor and asked him one of my requests. When I told my husband, he laughed and said that people will think I'm suicidal! LOL

I know who I'd like to come preach my service and I'd like the song, "I Can Only Imagine" sang and "Bring the Rain" with a slideshow of pictures. I'd also like the song, "Oh, What A Day" sang (I'd like it sang when my ashes are scattered or at my graveside).

And I know funeral's are supposed to be really sad, but I would be so honored if Jesus felt welcomed to come and move in our midst. I'd love nothing more than if He did something amazing and beautiful. So beforehand, before the service, I'd really like for as many people that could to gather together and pray. Wouldn't it be so awesome if His presence was there waiting as family started filtering in?

I really would like to be cremated, but my family doesn't feel comfortable with that. So if I am to be buried, I do NOT want an open casket. I do not want anyone looking at me when I'm dead - even at the viewing. Call me vain, but I don't want anyone's last memory of me to be dead full of makeup in hopes of looking alive. I just think it's gross and weird.

If I am cremated, I'd like my ashes scattered. I'd like Martin to scatter them somewhere outside. Somewhere that I'd be happy. I trust his judgement - no one knows me any better.

BUT I really don't think that any of that will ever happen. Honestly, I think that Jesus will come back before I ever die. He's kept me alive when He could have easily let me go plenty of times before. It's just one of those things just in case. So many times people die and loved ones have no idea what they would have wanted. So now everyone will know just what I would want. :-)